I've always loved music. I can still remember lying in bed in 1965 -- a ten year old with a small black transistor radio -- listening to WABC's Top 100 Songs of 1965. But there have been two times in my life when I just couldn't listen to the music being played on popular radio: in the mid-to-late 70's during the disco craze, and in the mid 80's when bands like Boston, Styx, Rush, and Queen ruled the airwaves.
I'm not saying that either of these music genres were bad; they just didn't interest me and pushed other music off the air. Well, it's happened again. A genre of music that I call "Teen Girl Pop" is now dominating commercial radio. Songs in this genre contain at least one (but usually several) of the following characteristics:
- Driving Drum Beat: This music is meant to be played and listened to at clubs while dancing;
- Banal Lyrics: Partying, flirting, binge-drinking, breaking up, making up, living for the moment ... I think you get the picture.
- Distorted Vocals: A technique that makes the singer sound as though he or she is singing through a megaphone or a bullhorn. Think of The Strokes, only more so.
- Repeated Syllabic Lyrics: Sure, this has been around since "talkin' 'bout my g-g-generation", but it's exploded since Lady GaGa's "p-p-p-poker face" . A few wildly popular examples: "Where have you been all my li-i-i-i-ife?", "the o-o-o-one, the o-o-o-one, the o-o-o-one, the one that got away", "kiss me, ki-ki-kiss me", and "as long as you la-la-la-la-love me, love me".
- Dubstep Break: Thankfully, these breaks are never long enough to cause nose bleeds, but just long enough to try and make the song sound hip.
- Rap Interlude: Nothing sounds as genuine as a rich 20-something white woman breaking into rap in mid-song.
With that as background, here's a list of consecutive songs that were played on a popular New Jersey radio station last week while I was working out at my gym for one hour. I've highlighted what, for me, is "The Worst Song On The Radio Now".
If, somehow, you have yet to hear this song, click here.
So, besides being a song in a genre that I don't particularly like, what caused me to lose all objectivity and call this song -- not just a bad song -- but the worst song?
So, besides being a song in a genre that I don't particularly like, what caused me to lose all objectivity and call this song -- not just a bad song -- but the worst song?
Style: As with many of the songs listed above, it slavishly adheres to the "Teen Girl Pop" formula. It has a driving guitar beat, the usual lyrics about drinking, dancing and partying, and a rap interlude.
Music: Some songs in the "Teen Girl Pop" song actually contain interesting music which requires a real band with actual musical skills. Not so here. The music in this song can be easily replicated by a high school kid with a drum machine and a synthesizer.
Lyrics: This is where this song truly distinguishes itself. Delivered with a poppy, catchy beat that you can't get out of your head, it contains lines like the following:
"It's pretty obvious that you've got a crush, that magic in your pants is making me blush."
"Oh what a shame that you came here with someone."
"Let's make the most of the night like we're going to die young."
And in case you're not getting the message, the refrain pounds it into you by repeating, "We're gonna die young." In other words, live for today, have fun tonight with whomever you happen to be with because you might die tomorrow. A wonderful philosophy for the "Teen Girl Pop" generation! The amazing thing is that since this abysmal song is delivered without a single expletive, its lyrics are deemed safe for all ages. Believe me, kids need to be protected from a song like this much more so than from a song like "Lose Yourself" by Eminem!
One more thing. Ke$ha spells her name with a dollar sign. That says all you need to know about the driving force behind this song and this artist.