Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Thank You Donald Trump!

"Constitution:  You're fired!"
The 2012 Presidential election was brutal.  The agony began with the Republican primary, which seemed to go on forever.  In case you've purged it from your brain, there were twenty debates, involving such eminent statesmen as Michele Bachman, Rick Perry, Herman Cain, Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich.  This was followed up by three Presidential debates and one Vice-Presidential debate that were almost totally devoid of substance.  Flowing through all of this was a deluge of campaign ads fueled by the most amount of money ever spent on a Presidential election.  According to some sources, when combined with Super PAC money, the Obama and Romney campaigns spent approximately two billion dollars. 

It was also an incredibly divisive campaign that left the US electorate split right down the middle.  Up until the day of the election, the race was too close to call.   But finally, on the evening of November 6, it all came to an end.  Barack Obama was re-elected by a comfortable margin in the Electoral College but by a fairly narrow margin in the popular vote.  Democrats cheered while Republicans wept.  About an hour after the election had been decided, Mitt Romney gave a gracious, if short, concession speech saying in part:
"This is a time of great challenges for America, and I pray that the president will be successful in guiding our nation ... At a time like this, we can’t risk partisan bickering and political posturing.  Our leaders have to reach across the aisle to do the people’s work.  And we citizens also have to rise to the occasion" 
While these were excellent words, it was hardly enough to heal the wounds of a nation and unify two parties that had been at each others throats for four year.  The country was still polarized.  It needed something else, something stupendous, that everyone could rally around.  To paraphrase Otter from the movie Animal House: "This situation absolutely required a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part".  But who would be a stupid enough guy to do it?  Enter The Donald! 

Speaking via Twitter to his followers on Election night, Trump starts out under control -- diplomatic, and rational:

Well said Mr. Trump, well said.  Almost Churchillian.  As the early results favoring Mitt Romney rolled in, Trump continued to wax philosophic:


Suddenly, though, somewhere around 11pm when Ohio fell to Obama and it was clear that Romney had lost, The Donald delivered a terse announcement:


But if you thought that The Donald was going to stop right there and call it a night, well, you don't know Donald Trump.  In rapid succession, he fired off the following tweets to his faithful:



He also posted the following tweets, which he deleted once they were discovered by Brian Williams, anchor for NBC Nightly News, and read over the air:
"He lost the popular vote by a lot and won the election. We should have a revolution in this country!"
"The phoney electoral college made a laughing stock out of our nation. The loser one!"
"More votes equals a loss…revolution! "
At this point, one can only assume that The Donald had been liberally sipping on an especially potent vintage of Viognier from the world renowned Trump Winery ever since the polls had closed on the east coast.  In the space of a few minutes he did everything he could to invite the federal government to prosecute him and his followers under Section 2384 of the US Code which states:
"If two or more persons in any State or Territory, or in any place subject to the jurisdiction of the United States, conspire to overthrow, put down, or to destroy by force the Government of the United States, or to levy war against them, or to oppose by force the authority thereof, or by force to prevent, hinder, or delay the execution of any law of the United States, or by force to seize,take, or possess any property of the United States contrary to the authority thereof, they shall each be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than twenty years, or both."
So far, the federal government has wisely avoided prosecuting Trump.  Why?  Because he is performing an incalculable service to the nation!  Democrats and Republicans who had been fighting each other tooth and nail finally have something they can agree upon:  Donald Trump is a blithering idiot!!  True, it's an extremely small and insignificant place to start, but it's a start.  Thanks, Don.

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